部落格：
今天。。。12 月2日。。。他的SPM 完了
昨天我已经问了他：“你明天又到哪里去吗？”
他说：“没有”
于是我问他。。你要出去吗？
他说：“好啊^^”
大约11pm。。我已经到了IOI MALL。。。
我等他。。。
他一点才到。。我带了功课到那边温习。。。
不久。。我到JUSCO走走。。。
我要买些东西。。这是。。电话响了。。原来是他到了。。
他说他在麦当劳。。叫我快点到。。
我其实不想那么快到。。。我走着走着。。。
我犹豫着。。。
我是不是不该见他。。说好了一年嘛。。。应该不可以见面。。
但是。。我想给我自己和他一个机会。。
今天他的表现。。又让我失望了。。
我不知道是不是我让他不开心。。
不用问。。这是答案。。
他还是像以前一样。。没改过。。
他大力拍桌子。。说话也蛮大声。。差点吓到我的朋友（L)。。
回到家后。。我跟他道歉。。说声对不起。。
还好他大方。。还叫我忘了它。。
我只好这样做。。
我病了两天了。。
喉咙痛。。伤风。。头痛。。声音也变了。。
应该是最近熬夜。。老朋友来找我喝茶了。。
我不期盼什么。。
如果他送上一句简单的问候。。我会很开心。。
好像说：“好好照顾身体。。健康为重”
我会很高兴。。。
但他只是问我：“你生病吗？”
但不用紧啦。。。这一切已经不重要了。。
今天我的朋友=L
我们是做工认识的。。
虽然认识的时间不长。。
但他好像知道我的最爱。。。
爱好。。食物。。
有一天。。。我有点不舒服。。我想回家。。
刚好电话没钱了。。
我跟MANAGER 说我要回家。。
她不给。。她要我找人代替。。
我。。不知道怎么办才好。。
刚好他的电话也没钱了。。
他使劲方法打电话给一个人。。
最后。。打到了。。
她肯代替我。。^^
然后他还去买蛋挞给我吃。。。
我敢说。。
除了家人之外。。没有人知道我很爱蛋挞。。
他没当面给我。。
他放在我的书包里。。
我到家才发觉。。
虽然已经碎了。。冷了。。
但放在嘴里。。非常温暖。。。
第二天。。。我问他。。
你为什么买蛋挞?
他问说:"你不喜欢吗？”
我笑着回答他。。
蛋挞--我的最爱^^
他笑了。。
我也笑了。。。^^
2/12/2008
9.02pm
blogger:
today...Dec 2...his SPM is over...
i asked him yesterday...
"2moro, r u going anywhere?"
he said:" no"
then i asked him to go out...
i said i just want to talk to him...because i long time didn't talk to him already...
he answered me without thinking... "ok...no problem..."
the moment he answered me that...
i got a strange feeling...
i want to watch movie with him...
i want to have a simple lunch with him...
but...
the feeling tell me..."u should not!"
so...i just walk around in IOI mall today before he came...
around 1pm...he called me...
he said he at mc donald's now...
teh moment he called me...
i was at the jusco..
actually...while on the way to mc donald's...
i m still hesitating...
i called him out...am i doing the right thing?
i don't know...
i don't want to know..
i reached there...
i saw him...
i feel like...i don't want meet him...
since i said 1 year...
suppose the 1 year...we shall not meet...
but since i long time didn't talk with him...
just want to give a chance to both him and me...
i talked to him...
i don't know whether he realized or not...
the moment he talked to me...
i am crying....
last 2 days...i sicked...
sore throat...headache and flu...
my voice changed too...
i want a simple concern from him...
if he just asked me "these days you slept late is it?
take care..ok?"
i will feel very very happy...
but...now...never mind...
i don't care...
a friend is also going to IOI mall today...
he said he want to buy the rice and soap for his family...
i was so surprised...
i tell myself..i must learn from him....
he is such a great grandson...
although we just knew each other for not more than 2 months...
he knows what i like to eat...
what's my favorite...
once..i was not feeling well.....he bought a egg tart for me...
i dare to say that...
nobody except my family knows that i like egg-tart...
he is my first friend who knows about it...
he put it in my bag...i dun realize until i reached home...
i was so surprised...
although the egg tart is crushed into pieces...it turned cold...
but i felt very warm...
it is a simple present from him...
but full of meaning...especially the meaning of friendship..
the next day..
i asked him..
"why you buy egg tart for me?"
he asked me back.." u don't like it?"
i told him....egg tart..is my favourite...i long time didn't eat it...i miss it...
he looks happy...
i feel happy too^^
2/12/2008
8.35pm
blogger:
these days it doesn't rain...i feel very happy...^^
lol...caz during the raining days...
my clothes...almost...very smelly....
swt...==''
these days the sky is so beautiful....
blue sky..
white clouds...
very big...n looks soft....
juz like the cotton.....
hmm....nice^^
these days....he treat me very good....
i dunno wat is the purpose...i juz try to gt a distance from him...
caz...we juz know each other...
i cant simply believe him...
i juz treat him as a normal fren...
he talks to me...
i talk to him...
we gt many topics..
wat he likes....i like too...
he likes to eat...
me too...
he likes badminton..
me too.....
i dunno whether HE makes it purposely....o.....wat..
i juz dun wan to think of it...
everyone says he likes me.....
but i dun really think so...
we juz known each other not even 1 month.....
how can?
this thing couldn't be happened...
even every night...after working.....
he accompanies me to my mum's car...
i feel very touching...
caz i know he really care about me..
juz like a bro n a sis....
these days he really care me..
he is a great fren..
he is different compared to his frens....
i m not saying his frens r not good....
juz he is a bit special compared to his frens....
almost.....everything he likes....
my favourite....
but i m controling myself....
i tell myself....
i muz not accept him...
i already told him...
he seems understand it....
but seems not....
dunno how...
i juz looking at the sky....
it looks very beautiful n nice...
by the end of november 2008...
i will stop working....
i gonna say bye to him n everyone...
i gt a feeling.....juz dun wan leave it so much.....
caz it brings many memories to me....
u let me know him....
but i wont meet him anymore...
but..i believe...
if there is an oppoutunity for us to meet....
we will meet no matter how....
good luck m frens....^^
親愛的部落格：
昨天。。。他說。。。他不想再等。。。他更不想等到一年。。。
我。。。當時。。。腦袋空白了。。。
我不知道要回答他什么。。。
他說給他一次機會。。。
我給了。。。
但還是要等一年后。。。我們才正式做回情侶。。。
我希望用那一年的時間去慢慢了解對方。。。
以后吵架也會減少。。。
當時當他說：“我么做回情侶吧。。”
我。。真的很想說：“好吧。。我們從頭開始。。。”
可是。。。不曉得我是否愛得他太深了。。。
自從我跟他說：“我們做回普通朋友吧。。。”
我對身邊的男生。。。一點感覺也沒了。。。
以前。。。我看到那些酷帥的男生。。
我都會多看他們一點。。。
甚至目不轉睛得看著他們。。。
讓他們注意注意我。。。
但。。。現在。。。都沒了。。。
我很少都看男生一眼。。。
也很少跟男生說話了。。。
我還真擔心。。我性取向是否出了問題。。。哈～真好笑。。。
有一天。。。他真的弄到我很生氣。。。。
他問我：“我們分手的原因是不是因為第三者？”
我看了。。。我很生氣。。。
我不回他。。。
我真的很想告訴他說：“如果你相信我的話。。我不需要解釋那么多。。
但是相反的。。如果你不相信我。。。我會跟你解釋一切。。。”
你得到答案。。但是。。我們完了。。。
這種情形是不該發生在情侶之間。。。
全世界的人可以懷疑我。。。唯你不能。。。
全世界的人可以問我以上的問題。。。唯你不能。。。
你根本不了解我。。。你認為我是這樣的人嗎？
我是那么不值得讓你信任嗎？
我的心。。。
好比被一把鋒利的刀慢慢的割下。。。
那種痛。。。
又久。。。又痛。。。
我寧愿那瞬間快點過去·。。。
但是。。。疤痕久久都不離我而去。。。
很痛。。。很痛。。。
你不是我。。。你永遠不了解那種痛苦。。。
我何嘗不想很你和好？
我也很懷念當時我們共渡的歡樂時刻。。。
可是。。。我對感情事。。。一點也不想提。。。也不想去想。。。
太復雜了。。。
每當我想著我們要一起出去。。。
要去越遠越好。。還是近近的呢？
太遠。。媽媽會問。。。：“有誰去？怎么去？”
太近。。怕會遇到熟人。。。
沒辦法。。。媽媽和爸爸的人緣太好了。。。
朋友太多。。。
我倒哪里。。。都會遇到他們的朋友。。。
太遠。。。若只是我跟他。。。
就要說騙話了。。。
我說騙話。。。一定會被揭穿。。。
當時。。。就糟了！！
我每次都為此事而煩惱。。。
媽媽和爸爸也慢慢不讓我出。。。
他們說。。。：“不放心。。。”
就連我要到生活營。。。他們也多多藉口。。。
我不知道他們是為我好還是什么。。。。
我不想去想了。。。
只想一個人。。
冷靜冷靜。。。
18/11/2008
1.33pm
瑩
blogger:
yesterday....
i dunno am i doing the right thing now....
i told him....
frens r better...
he din say anything.....
i guess...
juz 4 months..
it din last long....
i tot we will last long 4 at least 1 year...
not many frens know about it...
we decide to keep it...
we even wan to continue back...
sharing every single moment together..
but now...
cannot ...n it's no more...
everything...starting from now...
hav to face alone...
i really miss the moment we had been wif together...
but if he is willing to change 4 me...
i will wait de....
no matter how long...
i hope he will think maturely...
always think of the positive way...
be more independent....
be more...concern...
juz like...i no need say anything he aledi know wat am i thinking...
he might be going to US soon...
good luck to him...
this memory...will keep inside my mind..
although it is juz a short moment...
we r still frens...
aren't we?
frens forever...
14/11/2008
11.30am
blogger:
yesterday i went to sunway lagoon....i having fun there...
is true....
but it rains...lol...
half fun gone 4 it....
i...
dunno y....
i feel like....
he shall not wait 4 me....
1 year...
my frens said..
"wat?!..i year? too long le ba!"
i dunno...
my mind suddenly come out that 1 year....
i think he can find someone better den me...
but y..he said he can wait until my spm over?
i even giv him sign....
we back to normal frens...
he dun wan....
blogger..u know?
the moment i told him 'we back to normal frens...ok?"
my heart ....very very hurt...
i even wat to take back my words...
can i ?
i dun think i can....
i even wan to tell him...
i really need u....
if 1 day he leave me...
i wont say anything..
because...he really found someone better....
i...am not a good girl at all...
i am ...truly bad...
i m blur....
forgetful...
i know my physical appearance is the worst among my frens...
everytime....he said u r better dne many frens...
i dun think so...
i feel that he juz is to make me happier...
these days..
i dunno wat happen to my mum....
she...gt angry easily....
maybe her mood not so good...
den ..nvm la...
but everytime....y dun she giv me compliment...
giv me support?
i really need her support...
i always ask opinion from her...
she is my idol actually...
i always respect her...
i admit....
gt a few times i talk loudly to her....
she that time dun like me anymore..but that time i was really moody...
after that i was so sorry....
i tell myself....
i muz be more independent...
anything only myself will know....
my fren...his name L...
he know i gt many problem keep inside my heart....
he even tell me ...
dun keep everything inside ur heart...
say it out....
u will feel better....
i feel very touching...
my tears...
i cant control...
sometimes...i hope L is him....
i hope he will understand my mind....
even sometimes i din treat him well..
i really hope he understands the purpose i did it....
blogger...
luckily i hav a gang of frens...
they giv me happy moment...
they care 4 me...most of the time...
i...
wat they had done....
i really appreciate it...
thx^^...
13/11/2008
1.15pm