~SiLeNt MoMeNt ~

blogger:

these days it doesn't rain...i feel very happy...^^
lol...caz during the raining days...
my clothes...almost...very smelly....
swt...==''
these days the sky is so beautiful....
blue sky..
white clouds...
very big...n looks soft....
juz like the cotton.....
hmm....nice^^

these days....he treat me very good....
i dunno wat is the purpose...i juz try to gt a distance from him...
caz...we juz know each other...
i cant simply believe him...
i juz treat him as a normal fren...
he talks to me...
i talk to him...
we gt many topics..
wat he likes....i like too...
he likes to eat...
me too...
he likes badminton..
me too.....
i dunno whether HE makes it purposely....o.....wat..
i juz dun wan to think of it...
everyone says he likes me.....
but i dun really think so...
we juz known each other not even 1 month.....
how can?
this thing couldn't be happened...
even every night...after working.....
he accompanies me to my mum's car...
i feel very touching...
caz i know he really care about me..
juz like a bro n a sis....
these days he really care me..
he is a great fren..
he is different compared to his frens....
i m not saying his frens r not good....
juz he is a bit special compared to his frens....
almost.....everything he likes....
my favourite....
but i m controling myself....
i tell myself....
i muz not accept him...
i already told him...
he seems understand it....
but seems not....
dunno how...
i juz looking at the sky....
it looks very beautiful n nice...

by the end of november 2008...
i will stop working....
i gonna say bye to him n everyone...
i gt a feeling.....juz dun wan leave it so much.....
caz it brings many memories to me....
u let me know him....
but i wont meet him anymore...
but..i believe...
if there is an oppoutunity for us to meet....
we will meet no matter how....
good luck m frens....^^

親愛的部落格：


昨天。。。他說。。。他不想再等。。。他更不想等到一年。。。
我。。。當時。。。腦袋空白了。。。
我不知道要回答他什么。。。
他說給他一次機會。。。
我給了。。。
但還是要等一年后。。。我們才正式做回情侶。。。
我希望用那一年的時間去慢慢了解對方。。。
以后吵架也會減少。。。
當時當他說：“我么做回情侶吧。。”
我。。真的很想說：“好吧。。我們從頭開始。。。”
可是。。。不曉得我是否愛得他太深了。。。
自從我跟他說：“我們做回普通朋友吧。。。”
我對身邊的男生。。。一點感覺也沒了。。。
以前。。。我看到那些酷帥的男生。。
我都會多看他們一點。。。
甚至目不轉睛得看著他們。。。
讓他們注意注意我。。。
但。。。現在。。。都沒了。。。
我很少都看男生一眼。。。
也很少跟男生說話了。。。
我還真擔心。。我性取向是否出了問題。。。哈～真好笑。。。

有一天。。。他真的弄到我很生氣。。。。
他問我：“我們分手的原因是不是因為第三者？”
我看了。。。我很生氣。。。
我不回他。。。
我真的很想告訴他說：“如果你相信我的話。。我不需要解釋那么多。。
但是相反的。。如果你不相信我。。。我會跟你解釋一切。。。”
你得到答案。。但是。。我們完了。。。
這種情形是不該發生在情侶之間。。。
全世界的人可以懷疑我。。。唯你不能。。。
全世界的人可以問我以上的問題。。。唯你不能。。。
你根本不了解我。。。你認為我是這樣的人嗎？
我是那么不值得讓你信任嗎？
我的心。。。
好比被一把鋒利的刀慢慢的割下。。。
那種痛。。。
又久。。。又痛。。。
我寧愿那瞬間快點過去·。。。
但是。。。疤痕久久都不離我而去。。。
很痛。。。很痛。。。
你不是我。。。你永遠不了解那種痛苦。。。

我何嘗不想很你和好？
我也很懷念當時我們共渡的歡樂時刻。。。
可是。。。我對感情事。。。一點也不想提。。。也不想去想。。。
太復雜了。。。
每當我想著我們要一起出去。。。
要去越遠越好。。還是近近的呢？
太遠。。媽媽會問。。。：“有誰去？怎么去？”
太近。。怕會遇到熟人。。。
沒辦法。。。媽媽和爸爸的人緣太好了。。。
朋友太多。。。
我倒哪里。。。都會遇到他們的朋友。。。
太遠。。。若只是我跟他。。。
就要說騙話了。。。
我說騙話。。。一定會被揭穿。。。
當時。。。就糟了！！

我每次都為此事而煩惱。。。
媽媽和爸爸也慢慢不讓我出。。。
他們說。。。：“不放心。。。”
就連我要到生活營。。。他們也多多藉口。。。
我不知道他們是為我好還是什么。。。。
我不想去想了。。。
只想一個人。。
冷靜冷靜。。。




18/11/2008
1.33pm
瑩

blogger:

yesterday....
i dunno am i doing the right thing now....
i told him....
frens r better...
he din say anything.....
i guess...
juz 4 months..
it din last long....
i tot we will last long 4 at least 1 year...
not many frens know about it...
we decide to keep it...
we even wan to continue back...
sharing every single moment together..
but now...
cannot ...n it's no more...
everything...starting from now...
hav to face alone...
i really miss the moment we had been wif together...
but if he is willing to change 4 me...
i will wait de....
no matter how long...
i hope he will think maturely...
always think of the positive way...
be more independent....
be more...concern...
juz like...i no need say anything he aledi know wat am i thinking...
he might be going to US soon...
good luck to him...
this memory...will keep inside my mind..
although it is juz a short moment...
we r still frens...
aren't we?
frens forever...

14/11/2008
11.30am

blogger:
yesterday i went to sunway lagoon....i having fun there...
is true....
but it rains...lol...
half fun gone 4 it....
i...
dunno y....
i feel like....
he shall not wait 4 me....
1 year...
my frens said..
"wat?!..i year? too long le ba!"
i dunno...
my mind suddenly come out that 1 year....
i think he can find someone better den me...
but y..he said he can wait until my spm over?
i even giv him sign....
we back to normal frens...
he dun wan....
blogger..u know?
the moment i told him 'we back to normal frens...ok?"
my heart ....very very hurt...
i even wat to take back my words...
can i ?
i dun think i can....
i even wan to tell him...
i really need u....
if 1 day he leave me...
i wont say anything..
because...he really found someone better....
i...am not a good girl at all...
i am ...truly bad...
i m blur....
forgetful...
i know my physical appearance is the worst among my frens...
everytime....he said u r better dne many frens...
i dun think so...
i feel that he juz is to make me happier...

these days..
i dunno wat happen to my mum....
she...gt angry easily....
maybe her mood not so good...
den ..nvm la...
but everytime....y dun she giv me compliment...
giv me support?
i really need her support...
i always ask opinion from her...
she is my idol actually...
i always respect her...
i admit....
gt a few times i talk loudly to her....
she that time dun like me anymore..but that time i was really moody...
after that i was so sorry....
i tell myself....
i muz be more independent...
anything only myself will know....
my fren...his name L...
he know i gt many problem keep inside my heart....
he even tell me ...
dun keep everything inside ur heart...
say it out....
u will feel better....
i feel very touching...
my tears...
i cant control...
sometimes...i hope L is him....
i hope he will understand my mind....
even sometimes i din treat him well..
i really hope he understands the purpose i did it....
blogger...
luckily i hav a gang of frens...
they giv me happy moment...
they care 4 me...most of the time...
i...
wat they had done....
i really appreciate it...
thx^^...


13/11/2008
1.15pm